Microsoft Copyrights the Semi Colon

 

In a move expected to have far-reaching impact, Microsoft today
announced that it had successfully copyrighted the semi-colon. 
Hereafter, the ";" will be replaced by ";©". In a prepared state-
ment, Mr. Jose Fuentes,  chief technical lawyer for Microsoft said:
"Microsoft has today successfully copyrighted the semi-colon...
While some may decry the removal from the public domain... of
a standard keyboard and ASCII character, in fact, few in any non-
technical writers use the semi-colon. Those who do so.. use it in-
correctly...  The major use of the semi-colon is confined to the C 
and C++ programming languages...  and frankly most people who
work in those languages are employed either directly by, Microsoft
or through subcontracts. The subcontracts will be written to miti-
gate the impact of the user fee, to be established in the near future."

While he did not elaborate, sources close to Mr. Fuentes have intim-
ated that the user fee will be determined on a per- use basis of the
semi-colon... and is expected to be approximately 0.061 cents per use.
The same sources would not comment on rumors that Microsoft is
pursuing copyright action...  on the parentheses.