New MS Keyboard Hits The Street
Microsoft Corporation has just announced a new keyboard
designed
specifically for Windows. {Sources say a Macintosh
variant is in the
works. } In addition to the keys found on the
standard
keyboard...
Microsoft's new design adds several new
keys which will make your Windows computing even more fun!
The final specs are not yet set,
so please feel free to make
suggestions. The keys proposed so far
are:
1) GPF key: This key will instantly generate a General Protection
Fault when pressed... Microsoft representatives state that the
purpose of this key is to save Windows users time by eliminating
the need to run an application in order to produce...
a General
Protection Fault.
2) $$ key: When this key is pressed, money is transferred instantly
from your bank account to Microsoft without the need for further
action or third party intervention.
3) ZD key: This key was developed specifically... for reviewers of
Microsoft products. When pressed it inserts random superlative
adjectives in any text which contains the words...
Microsoft or
Windows within the file being edited.
4) MS key: This key runs a Microsoft commercial entitled....
"Computing for Mindless Drones" in a 1" x 1" window.
5) FUD key: Some thing to do with the display ... self explanatory.
6) Chicago key: Generates do nothing loops for months at a time.
7) IBM key: Searches your hard disk for operating systems... or
applications by vendors other than Microsoft and deletes them.
Very effective at removing Netscape.
8) MSN Key: With a single keystroke you will install and setup the
world's second slowest web access (AOL takes first place). And
you thought it was tough deleting all of the SetupMSN files from
Win 95!
9) RW95 Key: Stands for Re-install Windows 95... Because it's
usually a weekly ritual for most Win 95 users, why not make it
easier?
10) FDISK Key: Microsoft's " new " compression utility gives you
100% data compression guaranteed. Could stand for Format
Disk, but we all know what it really stands for. |