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You
Know You're From California
You Know You're From
California If...
The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway
Your were born somewhere else
You know how to eat an artichoke
The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic
Your car has bulletproof windows
Left is right and right is wrong
Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income
If you need a new TV, you can run down to the local riot
and pick
one up
You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by
You can't find your other earring because your son
is wearing it
You drive to your neighborhood block party
Your family tree contains "significant others"
Your cat has it's own psychiatrist
You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them
You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance
More than clothes come out of the closets
"The Dead" are best live
You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse
More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers
Smoking in your office is not optional
You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow,
and a sweater
and a wetsuit for the beach
When you can't meet schedule because you must "do lunch"
Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks
Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news
You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hottub
repairman
You consult your horoscope before planning your day
A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery
When all highways into the state say: "No fruits"
All highways out of the state say: "Go back" |
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